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Listen Now - Marriage Builders Radio. Print Thread. In late March this year I discovered by accident that my husband of 14 years had been having cybersex with men and women. I knew that he liked to look at porn and I didn't have any issues with that as I had looked at porn in the past.
I learned of his infidelity whilst trying to retrieve a password from his gmailI saw a large list of various mens and womens contact s - none did I recognise as friends or family. Then scattered amongst his general mail was s from men with his replies embedded in - all totally sexual and spanning over approx. The last one occurred at a time when I was working my evening job on a Saturday night in late March, it was a reply to a man saying 'Let me put the kids to bed and you can come round'. I cybersex forum my two children, aged 12 and 13 on discovering the s they are both mature for their ages and handled the whole thing so well given the circumstancesI confronted my OH his initial reaction was silence followed by downplaying it as a fantasy and that there was never going to be any physical contactI told my parents and I told his parents all within a couple of days on discovery and he knew that all these people were told.
The only real emotion he showed initially was when I spoke to his mum and told her about the sexual abuse he had suffered once as a teen in a male toilets as I wondered if this had affected his sexuality - he was devastated that his mum knew and was really enraged with me. He said it had nothing to do with what he did. This apparently let him cybersex forum wanted - quote 'that someone wanted me'. He went on to exchange a few photos of his private parts and they did the same back. The men offered things that they would do to him and he would reciprocate back.
He has since said that he never masturbated over any of the men, when they sent him face pictures he lost interest or when they got too frequent he lost interest, that when he finished typing after the messages that he felt sick about what he was doing but he was addicted to the attention.
My OH has always had difficulty in expressing his emotions, he doesn't like being around people much although will be quite outrageous in some ways - he has enjoyed going to the Rocky Horror Show in drag and likes to walk around the house naked without any issues. He used to feel uncomfortable expressing affection to me outside the house - holding hands in public, cuddling etc. After two days of discovering the cyber sex I made up with him and we started cybersex forum have lots of sex, we went away on our family holiday and had more sex and this was the best we have had in such a long time! But I know my heart has been broken, in between the new attention we have been giving one another I feel destroyed - especially when I think of what has gone on - the cyber sex for at least a month God knows how really long it was going on for as I have lost ability to trust anything he saysthe fact that he placed an ad looking for sex and all the contact, etc.
My Cybersex forum wants a second chance, wants us to put it all behind us. The counselling got him to open up and they tried to re-assure me that cyber sex is not real but a fantasy world but it doesn't cut the ice for me.
Is there ever a way to end the pain? Can I really trust my OH ever again? Have you been tested for STDs? Has he been tested? If hes having sex with random men he could kill you with AIDS. Me: BS Ex wife: ed the dark side of the Force. Originally Posted By: Clare Do you know the identities of any of these men or women?
I would have your WH give you any information he can about the identities. You have done a good job so far with exposing his A's to your children and close family members. You also want to expose to the family and friends of his AP's if you can identify them. What has been done on this list?
From Surviving an Affair, pg The extraordinary precautions do more than end marriage-threatening affairs; they help a couple form the kind of relationship they always wanted. These recommendations may seem rigid, unnecessarily confining, and cybersex forum paranoid to those who have not been the victim of infidelity. But people like Sue and Jon, who have suffered unimaginable pain as a result of an affair that spun out of control, can easily see their value. For the inconvenience of following my advice, Sue would have spared herself and Jon the very worst experience of their lives.
I would also require him to take a poly to confirm what he is telling you. It is almost a given that most waywards initially downplay and 'trickle truth' their actions. The information you have been given is very likely just the tip of the iceberg. Considering you have evidence that he was invited over by at least one hook up, that le me to believe that there was more physical infidelity than he has led you to believe.
Cybersex forum nothing you cannot verify at this point. In your case, I don't just think it is important for you to have the truth for your sanity, but also for your health! If your WH is hooking up with random men and women on Craigs List and then having sex with you, you are at great danger.
A poly can not only incentify him to give you the truth, but will confirm to you whether he is or is not telling you the truth. He is still lying to you. No man looks at internet porn or exchanges dirty messages without sexual gratification. Also, it is very easy cybersex forum men to find another man for a quick encounter within hours or less, depending on where you live. The chance that you discovered this right after it started is slim and it is quite that he has been sloppy about erasing his e-mail history.
Even if he only just started with the internet, there are many ways he could have done similar things in real life. I would actively snoop for information and think critically of past times where he was too late. For one cockroach you see, there is you don't. And get him tested for STD. Do not have unprotected sex in any way shape or form before that. Okay, the situation is very difficult at the moment - I am in the frame of mind that I need him out of my life because of what he did.
I believe that he did not hook up physically with anyone or I would not have had sex with him but it doesn't make any of the things he did right. He has maintained the reasoning that he led people on to 'keep them interested'. He has gone back to his Dr tonight and has been placed on antidepressants cybersex forum on a mental health assessment due to depression and suicidal thoughts. I was so worried tonight when he didn't come home on time that I cycled out and looked for him my daughter still has a tracker on her mobile phone that can locate him. The mental health team phoned when I got back and he took the call upstairs with the door shut but I listened in.
Tonight he is angry at me, telling me I am not listening to him. He is angry I am reading your replies. He is sleeping downstairs and just so angry. Good job exposing so bravely and well. What would you do if you were not afraid? Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert. Do get STD tested. This is not a new pattern of behaviour for him.
Honey, he invited a stranger to your house. Its physical. Originally Posted By: unwritten. I would not have any sex with him period.
A condom helps but is not a guarantee. HIV is deadly. Even if he tests negative right now, what if he contracts it tomorrow or next week? Men have a different motivation for sex than women. It's not as emotional. If he wants to do it he can easily find someone to do it with and who is going to put the brakes on? It's way too easy. Condoms help against STD, but they don't protect your heart. What you are experiencing is "hysterical bonding" after you have been hurt by this new side of your husband you didn't know about.
You should do some serious snooping or hire a PI. Don't tell him you do not trust him or think there is more, but demend that he be tested for STD. Still, repeating is good. Print Thread Switch to Threaded Mode. Key: Admin cybersex forum, Global ModMod. Most Online 3, Jan 27th, Default Style UBB. Our List. All Rights Reserved. Web Development by SunStar Media. Powered by UBB. PHP: 5. Thread. Next Thread. ed: Apr Posts: 3, U unwritten Member.
Originally Posted By: Clare40 The counselling got him to open up and they tried to re-assure me that cyber sex is not real but a fantasy world but it doesn't cut the ice for me. Welcome to MB. I would ditch this counseling.Cybersex forum
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Cybersex Addiction & Internet Infidelity